// I need this.//

i want this. i want to be able to return to college with so much confidence. i want to completely transform my body. I currently weigh 110 and am 5’2. I don’t have that much fat to work off. i need to get out of this lazy habit i’m in right now. i’ve wanted this forever. right now is when it starts. i have three months to do this. three months to buckle down and make life long habits. i will throw out my pack of cigarettes tomorrow, and i will not buy any more. i will only drink water and tea. lots of water. i don’t drink enough. i need to work out. i need to focus on building muscle. i need to eat healthy. no more fast food. never. i will stick to veggies, fruits, oats, and fish. i will eat breakfast everyday. i will do this. i want to cry, i want it so bad. nothing is stopping it from happening but my own lack of perseverance. but i have it now.

i love that feeling after working out. why wouldn’t i want that every day? i’ve been very thin before, down to 90 lbs. but i didn’t get there the healthy way. i struggled with bulimia for 4 or 5 months. not worth it.

i don’t want heart problems, and blood problems. i want a beautiful smile (im getting invisilgn in a couple weeks! i have one tooth really that needs straightening. because even that lowers my self confidence.) i want this. i need this. i want to feel beautiful and radiant. i want to be someone’s fitspiration. i want to be the one people are envious of. the person people wish they could be. i want this more than anything. i will get it.

i will. focus. 21 days of habits. i just need to get through these 21 days. it should be easier after that. come one. you can do it.